Did a stay-home Sunday after lunch with mummy and pops.
Been busy rushing about the entire week - Staff B paper, Welfare handover, SWB handover, Networking Party, interviews... Almost couldn't fork out time to trim my fringe.
Glad to have a lovely lovely break for the whole of Saturday :) It's indulgence in every way ;)
But I was still so tired and unwell today that I missed church :(
I need to organize my life and instill some control and discipline in the different aspects of my life.
The past 23 years had been easy (albeit maybe not so enjoyable at times) because things have been planned for. We're just living by the schedule, following the timetable, going with the crowd, from one class to another, one term after another.
Working life can be the same - from one weekday to the next, one paycheck after another. And we can just let life pass us by without really achieving anything that we value as significant in our life. We can OT till the cow comes home or we can knock off on time to while the evenings away with pointless activities.
Couple of weeks ago, I was out for lunch w the usual gang and we popped by Starbucks to grab a cuppa b4 returning to the office. Saw a lady casually dressed in tee, shorts and slippers, enjoying the lazy afternoon sun with a book in her hand, music in her ears and occasional sips of iced cold frappe. How I wish I can do that on a Tuesday afternoon, how enjoyable is that!
Well, I CAN actually do that. If I want to. I can always take a day leave and do the same thing, go on a relaxing date with myself. It's so easy, I don't even have to plan! But time has become such a scarcity in life that I'm not sure I can convince myself to something so seemingly "useless".
I guess what's really important now is to regain my sense of control and discipline in life and organize the different aspects of it back into shape.
I need to get closer to God, learn to enjoy every moment with my loved ones, control my expenses, clear my (physical, mental and virtual) clutter regularly, experience new things, gain new knowledge and have a goal in life.
I need to find a balance in experiencing the individual moments in life through the smaller things and knowing in a larger scale, what exactly am I working towards in life. There are so many things I can engage in but I want to know what are the things that can lead me to become the person that I want to be. What may seem important or enjoyable at this very moment may just be something that is a complete waste of time or worse, something that is holding me back from arriving at my ultimate goal.
I once came across a story abt a rich business man who went to a little island to take a break from all the stress that he had been facing at work. Out on the beach during his vacation, he wanted to get a drink and after a long walk, he saw this man resting on a daybed with a cooler box filled with canned drinks next to him and a simple sign that says Drinks for $2. The rich business man bought a can of drink and sat down nxt to the drink seller. They started talking and the drink seller asked the business man why did he look so unhappy. The business man told him that he is thinking about his work and he is very tired with all the stress that he is facing.
"Why are u working so hard then? What are u trying to achieve?" the drink seller asked.
"Money. I want to be rich, really really rich."
"And what happens when u are really really rich? What are u going to do with all the money?"
"I'll sell away my business, buy a house on a little island near the beach, set up a little stall there and enjoy the sea breeze, the sun and the waters at my feet everyday."
"Well, that's exactly what I'm doing everyday!"
I guess what the business man wanted was not the money, but the experience of bliss in its simplicity. If he had realised exactly what is it that he wanted in life, he might have been able to enjoy such a lifestyle for a much longer time.
But life is never as simple as a story. And it doesn't help that human are simply complex (pardon the oxymoron). A short break probably won't help us feel recharged or change our perspective of life. It's the realisation that we get through spending more time with ourselves and understanding ourselves or the eureka moments that hit on us when we slow down to observe and experience life.
I'm glad to know that my life has been perfectly planned by God, and that all I need to do is really to listen to Him and find out where He wants me to go and what He wants me to do. Nothing is chance, everything that we encounter has it's purpose, be it good or bad, enjoyable or heart-wrenching. Through joy we learn to be thankful, through tears we learn to be faithful.
May the Lord grant me wisdom to see His plans and obedience to act in His will.
